Evidently I am not very good at uploading regular posts but I am going to try to do so from now on. But for now let me fill you in on all that has gone on in the last few months.

When it comes to Van, although I love him, I also sometimes hate him. Since buying him he has taught me a lot of things but has also wrecked my confidence in certain aspects of my riding. A good example could be that I am nervous of actual getting on a horse, don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy riding but it’s just the actual getting on the horse that makes me panic a bit.

You see with Van there is a point in the mounting maneuver that makes his entire body tense up, you can visibly see all his muscles go stiff and his eyes widen just enough to make you realise that he scared of something. There have been times that he has got himself so worked up that as I getting on he has flipped out and started spinning around and rearing up; now in these moments I only actually have one foot in the stirrup and the rest of my body is in mid-air; I like to pride myself on having good balance but unfortunately some of the times my balance is not quite good enough and I have gone flying. If this had happened once or twice I would have just moved on but after a while the pain starts to take a toll both physically and mentally.

It is because of these moments of doubt that I have started thinking that maybe it is time to sell Van and maybe get another horse or maybe just giving up completely. I have spoken about it with my mum and dad and they think that maybe taking a break might be a good idea because of work but I’m just not sure.

We decided that as we were going on holiday to America for 3 weeks, we would use that time to think about it and all come to a joint decisions, so here it is (oh the drama)… He is up for sale but at the same time I am trying to regain my confidence with him. Confused? yeah, I am a bit too. The plan is that he is for sale and I have let some people know but I am not actively shouting it from the rooftops, if someone comes forward then that’s great but at the moment I am happy to try to regain some confidence in both him and myself.